Car Project

  The car you are now drooling over is the 2012 Hyundai Veloster.  Ths car was engineered to produce smiles in every sentient being who encounters it.  Lower mammals will notice that the car itself seems to be smirking at you like Julia Roberts smirked at that old guy in the movie where she was a hooker.  A knowing, sensual smirk, ending just below the turn signal indator lamp.
     Fancy tech-savvy, new-age fans of Anime are drawn the grill area whch brings to mind one of those things the kids call "mash-ups", this one being "What is Jack Skellington" was a Transformer?  This is a sneak preview of the next movie in that mega-franschise, "Tranformers meet the Borg and it's all over, baby"
      The car even sounds delicious. like eggs cooked by George Costanza  before Kramer gets arrested for taking the 2012 hyundai Velosters out of the Veloster trap without a permit. 
      Set your mind at ease if you are one of the many people that are still afraid that the lizards are taking over the world because you read too many conspiracy websites.   That;s not happening.  Look at the headlights!  Those are clearly modeled on the eyes of a great winged bird of prey who loves to eat lizrds and snakes and Iguanas all day long.  And the name is not even close to the name of the scary Dinosaurs that tried to eat Jeff Goldblum's kids in that movie about the giraffes in the park, what was it called again, "Giraffes in park??
     I guess the real secret about the 2013 Hyundai Veloster is that it makes you think about movie stars and being in the movies and what kind of movie will you be seeing this car in next and how many does Justin Bieber own?  As you all know, he is the coolest.  ( I think it may be three dozen)
     If only this image did justice to the athletic, powerful back end.  Do yourself a favor and search the internet for all the images you can find of this sleek, sexy thouroughbred of funky fun.  The Veloster does not take a bad photo ever, her eyes are never red or out of focus.  In fact the car is designed to always be in the sharpest focus in the sexiest part of your brain, whatever that part of your brain  drools about has been added to this car.  That's why every glove box of the 2012 Hyundai Veloster is filled with drool absorbent towelettes.    There is nothing sexier than scientific sexiness.  tomorrow

     
     This Toyota 4runner in this exact color is the perfect vehicle with which to start your Great White Shark themed  business.  All you need is  a plastic dorsal fin on a suction cup, or perhaps attach it with some velcro, I'm the creative department here, not engineering! 
     Just look at the obvious shark inspired detail work around the  gills of this lovely white mode of transport.  There is a rumored upgrade to this model that is completely waterproof with functional gills that draw oxygen from the water and that process provides enough energy to propel this through the water.  The best thing is this really saves on gas.  The next best thing is you do not need a boat license if you make your purchase of a new Toyota 4runner before 2015.  Talk to your dealer about the "Great White" options package and if he  asks who referred you just say "he  whose name should never be spoken" and he will nod knowingly and extend his hand for the secret handshake.
     To find out how to do the secret handshake is something that I cannot leave on a webpage for the world to see.  I will incorporate a coded account into this message  that you should be able to discern.  (SEND 100 bucks to ContentDev1@Elance.com) for the link to the  website that will make it all clear to you.   If the website says "under construction" that is part of the plan, there will be  an invisible link on 3 pixels of the page, just keep clicking, Illuminati Brother! 
     Come to think of it now, in Grey this Toyota4runner could be a dead ringer for the  Whale Shark, the world's largest fish.  These  gentle giants swim to the sahllow waters off the Yucatan Peninsula from mid-july to early September to Spawn.  You really have not lived until you have seen a few young Whale Sharksthe worlds trying to impress the lady landsharks with their slow motion under water pimp daddy deluxe player of the  year moves while the older male sharks look on with bemused looks on their faces at the wasted energy.  The front of this car is exactly the look of the confident, established biggest fish in the ocean, alpha male, "I gotta pick my kids up from soccer but want to look good doing it but my wife doesn't want to drive something too big" vibe.
      This Volvo s60 T5 demands visual attention with it's powerful lines.  The first thing I asked myself when looking at this is "When did Porsches start looking cool again?"   Let's be honest, there have been some unispired models in the last decade or so.  But this?  "Inspired" is the best word for it.  It sure looks a lot more like a coupe than a sedan, but if you look really closely there is a full back seat back there suitable for transporting Vikings to the dock for their next business trip to England.  Most people are well aware that "Volvo" is  the Swedish word for "viking transportation cart".  Oh, wait, Sweden only makes watches, cheese and red fish.  It's IKEA who makes Volvos.
     I think that when they started manufacturing Volvo's in Virginia was when Volvo's started to look so powerful and dynamic.  The angular front recalls winged birds of prey, streaking towards their unsuspecting bunny lunch.  And speaking of Bunnies and lunch, one of the  articles in Playboy...
      "What?  Excuse me for a moment.  Words?  They those are the small black  and white things your nurse is pointing to now Mr. Jones, See?  right here, that's your name Mr. Jones"
    Anyway, the article mentioned that three out of five blonde bunnies preferred the new Volvo T5 to the most recent Porsche.  The score  was higher  with brunette Bunnies for some  reason.
     Every thing about this sleek purring machine, this epitome of the adjective powerful, this tawny feline hawk hybrid bunny slaying fantasy chariot of the  gods, everything about it, from the nuances on the hood, to the bold back side, all the details add up to  one of the longest sentences that you have every read that is grammatically correct, copelling and evocative of a time when men did heroic things in far awy lands before the  advent of the internal combustion engine.   Remember, the first Thursday of the month, Thor's Day, is also drive a viking to work day.  If you can't find a Viking, drive over to the local rugby club or lumberjack camp and offer them a ride.  If you are going to drive one of Thor's Chariots around, you had better respect the terms of The Nordic Compact of 1137.i am so sorry that i have been OFFLINE for a few days, my hard drive crashed and is being reformatted.  I have a guy looking thru my files now trying to recover them,,,
william b.
i will tone them down... i had a lot of fun writing them, i tried to have a different theme with each as you indicated that you wanted different approaches so your website had variety....
ill send you the last two and start modifying the others....
Aug 03, 2014
1:51 pm
T S.
William

I did not understand your revised proposal. There is an additional cost for "2 Great Descriptions" which should be a part of the set of 5 reviews. Please remove them from the payment list.

Just so that you are clear, the first two submissions were not accepted and you will have to redo them.

Thank
TS
Aug 01, 2014
10:05 pm
T S.
William

Thanks for the quick turnaround but this is not quite what we are looking for. These are too over the top. Tone it down. Spend a little time on the design elements, the lines, the curves and describe them directly with less emphasis on the emotion like "drool" etc. There are two distincitive features about the Acura MDX 2015 that get you adrenaline pumping almost instantly. One look at the headlights and I hearthe distinctive five note whistling, preceding the "wahh wahh wahh' from the Classic western where Clint Eastwood is squinting through the bright desert sun and sweat with a small cigarette clenched in his teeth waiting for someone to slap leather. The second spine tingling visual detail is best seen from the driver's seat. It's the speedometer. Rarely do SUV's speeddometrs get closer to the second hundred than this Acura does. The first heritage of speed that made Acuras so popular when they first hit the streets is well represented in this vehicle, due in no small part to the MDX 3.7 technology. When you see the Acura "A" on the hood, you know you will have all the zip you need at beneath your right foot.
You will notice how much room the engine need from the slighty angled hood which is reminiscent of the old muscle cars of the seventies. This is not your typical soccer moms delivery service SUV.

give me 2 more days please!

ARE WE TALKING MAJOR REWRITES?

tone it down i can do, but i need to do the humor to do a good job on this project

i really think that these cars look very similar to most vehicles on the road today.
you need a microscope to tell the difference between the box that is a 4 runner and the box that is an escalade...  the BRANDS of cars are all just like brands of toothpaste...  people like what their father drove or their best friend,,,,

i can enthusiastically gush about the TESLA, i will work on that now and send it to you today...

but to write entertainingly about the other four i have to add to what is there, because what is there is just a single sheep, separated from the herd, a sheep that misses the herd...



the herd is a metaphor for the SAFE DESIGNS these engineeers came up with... not taking chances because their MARKET RESEARCH told them that people like the car that looks like the best selling car more that the one that doesnt....  it is this SHEEP MENTALITY that makes us so easily governed and so susceptible to the crap on tv where they JUST LIE TO YOU, like ORWELL warned 50 years ago in 1984.....  war is peace,,, toyota is ford....

if you want something along these lines i can provide....   if DO NOT WANT STUFF LIKE THIS just cancel
 simply DO NOT ACCEPT THE TERMS and i will try with someone else

Thanks!


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